They were a little fatty and started dripping into the fire almost right away. flames kicked up a bit and I put the dome down to leave them for a minute. My plan was to turn them every 60 seconds, for a total of 2 min/side.

When I finished flipping them the first time, the flames were getting big - The excitement of cooking on the Egg! Unfortunately, the flames were so high I couldn't reach the dome handle to close it! The longer I stood there with the dome open, the higher the flames got! Reminded me of the time I was rollerblading down a big hill- the longer you wait the faster you go and by the time you realize you're going too fast, you're going even faster! fractions of seconds passed as the flames grew in intensity! I used my long tongs to reach the handle and set it down. I damped down the lower vent a bit in an effort to buy myself a little more time on the next flipping. Nice try.

The next time, more (a LOT more) of the same! Flames were shooting out the chimney as I opened it. I got that baby opened, flipped 'em and did a better job closing the dome with the tongs reaching through the blaze before it reached supernova.

I was secretly hoping the gas-grill-using neighbors were looking on in awe from the safety of their air-conditioned homes.

The next flip was abandoned in favor of ensuring a safe ending to the first phase of the cook. I opened 'er up, saw the raging inferno and started pulling the chops off as fast as I could. 4 minutes had somehow passed anyway so I wasn't shortchanging the process.

With the fat-dripping chops removed, the blaze died down. Nothing was burned (or dropped on the ground) and all was well. I finished the cook without incident.

In the end, the chops were pretty boring (I guess American Lamb is just too mild for me) but hell, the experience was pretty damn interesting! Won't do it again, but it was interesting! Singed a little arm hair, otherwise no worse for the wear.

Now what will I cook tonight.......

did you use the grape vine?

I did use the grapevine and the smoke smelled almost incense-like. (it was a nice smell) Apparently I didn't use enough to make a difference tho.

The actual Rollerblading incident happened in Breakheart. I was by myself, swooshing in gentle "s" like curves as if I was skiing when all of a sudden I was on the fast track to doom. Long downhill, No shoulder on the road, vertical rock on one side and guardrail and a drop on the other side. I chose the 12" of dirt in front of the rock. This allowed me to instantly convert from skating to running, but not for long. The dirt lane ran out and became road again, my feet went out from under me and I hit the ground like 'a sack of potatoes'.

ROFL

I just got everyone's attention here at work because I was laughing out loud at your story!! That is too funny!!! (Both the fire and the skating).